I first met a boy named Haze a while back at a house party on Finlayson Place. My first impression (and many others) was that he was an obnoxious douche! As time rolled on and I got to know him over the years I still thought he was an obnoxious douche, but he slowly became my friend. He bought a condo in my building and we hung out even more, but what really got us together was beer!
Beer was the key to any good relationship, and we drank many a beer. We would establish these walkabouts that would and could go on for hours, usually the same route along the Goose Trail away from the police, but many as well has brought us into suburbia where the prying eyes of mothers have pierced their negative thoughts toward are well being. But the husbands of those mothers wish they could be there with us, they envy us! But nobody loves Haze like TyGuy does, heres why!
Ty Guy looks happy! Now you may be wondering why I am doing a blog about Mr. Ryan Hazelton? To be quite honest, I don’t know. He’s my bud and I missed his birthday (May 13th) so as a gesture of awesomeness, I have decided to wish him a birthday by giving him a blog. Many famous people share a birthday with Hazey, here are a few you might know.
Those people were Pope Pius IX, Bea Arthur (Golden Girl), Dennis the worm Rodman, Stephen Colbert, Robert (Im a sparkly vampire Patterson, Lauren Phoenix (Canadian Porn Star), PK Subban (some dumb hockey player) and Sunny Leone (another Canadian Porn Star) Also has a birthday today is our guest of honour Hazey.
Now Haze is not your ordinary run of the mill type of guy, I could honestly say that he is a one of a kind (thank you Baby Jesus). He is out spoken, gets a little loud, takes, and gives lost/won bets like a man. Has poor taste in hockey teams, comes up with dumb idea’s (food walkabout), goes through cars quicker than most guys go through girlfriends, and I have seen him on the tail end of a punch or two! But I can honestly say he is by far my favorite friend to drink with! We have the same views on beer (no white beer) and ways to drink it. And when we have our walkabouts, we recall the same things over and over again ….. remember when…..
What kind of liner? ….. Pentaliner!! TAI CHI WHEELLLLL, what the hell? Deck to no where, there’s not even a door??? imagine 2 guys, walking around with there shorts getting weighed down from excess beers in the pocket, walking from cold beer store to cold beer store, getting drunker, louder, sillier, and all round more awesome as the adventure progresses. Thats us! And there always seems to be competition as well. Like who can last the longest without breaking the seal! And Im not gonna lie, currently he is in the lead. Anyways Hazey, I hope that this makes up for missing a brothers birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER FUCKER, love ya like a brother! Walkabout soon?